Jokes of the ancient Romans

Here it is a short collections of jokes of the ancient Romans from Philogelos (The Laughter Lover), a collection of some 265 jokes, likely made in the fourth or fifth century CE. Hope you will enjoy them.

1)A misogynist paid his last respects at the tomb of his dead wife. When someone asked him, "Who has gone to rest?," he replied: "Me, now that I'm alone.

2)There was another man, just like the last one - a big talker, but in fact impoverished. By chance he got sick, and his girlfriend, coming into his place without warning, found him lying on a humble mat made of reeds. Turning over, he claimed that the doctors were responsible: "The best and most famous doctors in the city ordered me to sleep on a mat like this.

3)An incompetent schoolteacher was asked who the mother of Priam was. Not knowing the answer, he said: "It's polite to call her Ma'am.

4)A young man said to his libido-driven wife: "What should we do, darling? Eat or have sex?" And she replied: "You can choose. But there's not a crumb in the house.

5)A misogynist had a wife who never stopped talking or arguing. When she died, he had her body carried on a shield to the cemetery. When someone noticed this and asked him why, he replied: "She was a fighter.

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BIBLIOGRAPHY

- Baldwin, Barry, trans. with commentary, The Philogelos or Laughter-Lover (Amsterdam, 1983)
- Jennings, Victoria, review of R.D. Dawe's text, BMCR 01.04.05
- Rapp, Albert, "A Greek Joe Miller" Classical Journal 46 (1951), pp.286-290 & 318
- Thierfelder, Andreas, German trans. with commentary, Philogelos, Der Lachfreund (Munich, 1968)